May 21, 2012

The good thing about having a stubborn partner who refuses to properly convalesce is that he’s got a bunch of leftover vicodin from his surgery that I can now use, like the wimp that I am, to avoid feeling any post-dentist pain.

May 21, 2012

Last week we ended up having dinner with a group that included a surly 16 year-old. She’s the kind of person who, if she ended up on 16 and Pregnant, would need subtitles. Afterward, my boyfriend was all, “did you hear her ask her grandpa what spinach was?” and I was like, “did you really understand a single word she said?”

But, yeah, apparently she had no idea what one of the most common vegetables on the planet was.

May 16, 2012

My friend left me at home with her cats and I’m not sure if I’m supposed to feed them/what their schedule is. They’re doing a lot of scratching at posts in what looks like frustration. How long before they try to eat me?

May 15, 2012

I really think that what the world needs is a book of hilarious curses. The idea occurred to me after reading an article about how Facebook co-founder Eduardo Saverin has decided to renounce his US citizenship in favor of Singapore, for tax purposes. Here was one of the comments:

May he be hit by a rickshaw.

May 15, 2012

This “is she/isn’t she” stuff about Queen Latifah reminded me of a conversation I had with my cousin the other day. We were talking about another cousin of ours, and I was all, “you know she came out right?” And my cousin was like, “WHAT? SHE CAME OUT?” and it took a lot of back and forth before I realized that she didn’t know what “came out” meant.

May 11, 2012

And it’s not the most important part of the discussion but it’s still worth asking whether Zimmerman or other members of his family actually considered or acknowledged the “great-grandfather” to be “black” before all this happened (I’m using these terms in quotes because at this point it’s all assumption).

May 11, 2012

I’m sure it’s comforting to Trayvon Martin’s family to know that George Zimmerman apparently has a “black great grandfather.” Because the fact that their son’s killer Knows A Black Person will not only bring Trayvon back but it also proves that what Zimmerman was really trying to do was give the kid a hug.

May 10, 2012

One Mother’s Day we got our grandma some personalized stationery. She decided to inaugurate it by sending my sister the best letter anyone has ever sent or received in history, full stop. It ended with the following sign-off: “And don’t you ever get caught up in the dope ring! They’ll do anything to get you hooked.”

May 9, 2012

Why yes, I am the adult child who goes home for a visit and decides that the lack of olive oil in this house is everything that was wrong with her childhood.

May 9, 2012

After writing her poorly-conceived, badly-written, and much-maligned blog post about Black Studies programs, Naomi Shaefer Riley was fired from the Chronicle of Higher Education. In response, she has written an editorial for the Wall Street Journal. It’s pretty predictably butthurt, tone-deaf, and self-pitying. But it’s also so, so dumb. To wit:

My longtime familiarity with the absurdities of higher education did not, I confess, prepare me for this most absurd of results. The content of my post, after all, is hardly shocking; the same thing could have been written 30 years ago. And perhaps that’s the most depressing part of all this. Despite the real social and economic advancement that has been made by blacks in this country, the American faculty is still stuck in the 1960s.

Setting aside the fallacy that scholars are still writing about the same topics that were popular more than 30 years ago, it’s pretty rich that she’s openly and uncritically spouting 30 year-old hate — the very hate, in fact, that Black Studies departments were founded to combat. Put another way, and using her own words against her: “Despite the real social and economic advancement that has been made by blacks in this country, Naomi Shaefer Riley is still stuck in the 1960s.”